Does this succeed in telling the story of sun light pushing away clouds and darkness? (I flipped the image, the original was more like light retreating away from darkness and I didnt't like the idea so much...)
Also does this work in panoramic format? Or can anybody suggest a better framing?
To me, it recalls sunlight moving across the face of the earth, one of my favourite scenarios. So, not a definite answer to your question!
Not sure about the panorama*. It seems a bit "halfway" now - perhaps even more crop from the foreground to bring the sunlit strip close to the bottom of the frame?
(* When I opened the big image, I was waiting for more to appear beneath. Perhaps bigger and matted it would work well - just not on screen.)