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Author Topic: Critique  (Read 3093 times)
Ringaudas
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« on: November 19, 2007, 10:39:19 AM »
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I would appreciate your opinion
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Tim Gray
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« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2007, 11:06:34 AM »
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I like the tonality and composition.  

If it was me, (these are quibbles for the most part)  I'd crop a bit off the top and bottom, straighten the perspective on the RHS and, maybe, dodge the boy a touch - depends, but I think maybe a touch more contrast between him and the background stair.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2007, 11:07:11 AM by Tim Gray » Logged
Ringaudas
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« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2007, 11:21:11 AM »
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I like the tonality and composition. 

If it was me, (these are quibbles for the most part)  I'd crop a bit off the top and bottom, straighten the perspective on the RHS and, maybe, dodge the boy a touch - depends, but I think maybe a touch more contrast between him and the background stair.
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Thanks Tim, I will try to play with this shot a bit on PS. I think it's worth to follow you observations. I will see.
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jule
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« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2007, 03:13:15 PM »
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Thanks for posting your image and this opportunity.

Contrary to Tim's idea, I would not crop anything off the top or bottom, because when I had a play with that idea, the sense of distance, direction, and the feeling that the boy was being funnelled diagonally somewhat - was lost.  It seems to flatten the image out too much with the top and bottom cropped.

I'm not sure that I would dodge the boy either. The white collar is striking enough to bring attention to him, and my eye searches for more detail, which is there, just a little alluring - which is interesting.

Overall, I find the image interesting. With regard to the narrative, in my mind it would be rather unusual for a boy to be on his own in this environment, so it seems to me to be a staged shot - which is fine, but I seem to be wanting another element to help create a narrative more - something else which can link as to why the boy was walking toward the stairs alone. Just a subtle element, but I think something is needed to create a more powerful image.

Julie
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Tim Gray
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« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2007, 03:40:35 PM »
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Here's an execution of my suggestions.

[attachment=3909:attachment]

I'm indifferent to the crop - maybe it's an improvement, maybe not.  As far as the boy, my point was that he needs just a touch more contrast to draw the eye.   The change on the image posted is a bit subtle, may not come across.   When I first looked at the image I didn't see him for a bit.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2007, 03:42:24 PM by Tim Gray » Logged
Ringaudas
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« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2007, 03:58:14 PM »
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Thanks for posting your image and this opportunity.

Contrary to Tim's idea, I would not crop anything off the top or bottom, because when I had a play with that idea, the sense of distance, direction, and the feeling that the boy was being funnelled diagonally somewhat - was lost.  It seems to flatten the image out too much with the top and bottom cropped.

I'm not sure that I would dodge the boy either. The white collar is striking enough to bring attention to him, and my eye searches for more detail, which is there, just a little alluring - which is interesting.

Overall, I find the image interesting. With regard to the narrative, in my mind it would be rather unusual for a boy to be on his own in this environment, so it seems to me to be a staged shot - which is fine, but I seem to be wanting another element to help create a narrative more - something else which can link as to why the boy was walking toward the stairs alone. Just a subtle element, but I think something is needed to create a more powerful image.

Julie
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Julie, thank you for your interesting comment. Personaly I find this image interesting because the shapes and the scale. The little boy faces all these long stairs and the heavy walls on its own, "We were beying born alone and will die alone". It gives kind of simplicity as well. I think to make this image stronger it was needed to take a different approach in general which haven't necessary been possible in that particular situation. Any way, I have to analize more. Thank you Julie.
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jule
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« Reply #6 on: November 19, 2007, 04:29:02 PM »
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Julie, thank you for your interesting comment. Personaly I find this image interesting because the shapes and the scale. The little boy faces all these long stairs and the heavy walls on its own, "We were beying born alone and will die alone". It gives kind of simplicity as well. I think to make this image stronger it was needed to take a different approach in general which haven't necessary been possible in that particular situation. Any way, I have to analize more. Thank you Julie.
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It is interesting that I didn't get the "We were being born alone and will die alone" message that you had intended for this image....because I don't think that we are born alone -(because we have the nurturing companionship of our mother and often our father - and perhaps ancillary medical/midwifery staff), and nor do we all die alone - (perhaps family or friends, medical support personnel, or depending upon one's spiritual belief -a Higher Source). I'm sure however that there are many who do feel that they die alone.

The overall feeling which I thought you were intending to convey was 'independence' or 'challenge', but because of the staged nature of the image, for me it lacked power because I think it had a sense of 'fakeness'.

Julie
« Last Edit: November 19, 2007, 04:31:57 PM by jule » Logged

wolfnowl
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« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2007, 01:17:15 AM »
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I didn't get the intended 'aloneness' either.  To me it looked metaphorical - any parent will tell you, "They grow up so fast!"  I saw a boy becoming a man as he walked toward his future.

Mike.
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If your mind is attuned to beauty, you find beauty in everything.
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My Flickr site / Random Thoughts and Other Meanderings at M&M's Musings
blansky
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« Reply #8 on: November 20, 2007, 10:57:22 AM »
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I "get" the aloneness part. Also the struggle against an unforgiving cold concrete  world.

One thing that is interesting is although we see the child as alone, in reality he's not. Just behind his shadow is the shadow of an adult perhaps watching over him.

Or if you're really creepy, stalking him.


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jd1566
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« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2007, 03:33:18 AM »
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Hi there.
I'm going to comment on what this image says to me, rather than what you wanted to.. Images have to speak for themselves, and sometimes say very different things to what the author intended.  The B&W may give a sense of melancholy, but as I print exclusively B&W I see something different - I see a child growing up and preparing to go to the next level, both metaphorically and figuratively.  The shadow in the background is an anxious parent close at hand in case something happens, but far enough away to allow the child to grow and respond to his or her environment on its own.  It's about growing up, and really it's more about the shadow than the child.  It's our presence watching over, hoping everything is going well, but ultimately letting the child grow up and not suffocating it.  We are the shadow looking on, we are in the picture.  I think that accomplishes something very important, which is being able to relate personally to the photograph.

On a more technical issue regarding the framing, I am going to do what I've been told is not good form.. i.e. suggesting "how I would have done it".  I wasn't there, I didn't do it, you did.  HOWEVER, if I'd been there I would have crouched down lower to get more of the floor and that way avoided the overhang in the top part of the frame.  The overhang closes the picture, and in my vision of a child growing up and out, the sky, or as much of the top frame should be open and uncluttered.  Obviously your intent was different, which is maybe why you included the overhang in the first place.  

Can you tell I'm a new father!? :-)
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B&W photographer - Still lifes, Portraits, Urban scenes, Landscapes, Abstract images.
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