The problem you are having sounds like it is with your screen rather than your printer. Turn the brightness on your screen down to match that of paper and then recalibrate. Your screen and print will never match perfectly; your screen is illuminated whilst your print is reflective - it's just not possible. Have you seen From Camera to Print? There is a section on this sort of thing.
There are a number of reasons for your prints having more contrast than you would like. The first is discussed above. The next two questions to ask are "Are you soft-proofing?" and "Do you understand rendering intent?"
Hope that helps some
Thanks for the reply.
Yes I have got the Camera to Print videos and they helped a lot. The main reason for the purchase was this issue.
You mention dropping the screen brightness, but am I not suppose to leave it at the default 6500K for calibrating? I am new to this area and followed the instructions in spyder2, which recommends leaving it at the default or is this just a guide?
I will try a re-calibration with alower kelvin for the WB - any recommendation as to what kelvin should use?