1 For many, it occurs when on the edge, just before touching the very bottom of the unbearable. The time a person has suffer enough and say, I'm done with that, then the solution and the light comes very fast. But for many, the suffering is actually not strong enough, and even give them an identity they don't want to leave. "I've lost my wife, I've lost my job, my country and my health or whatever; should I also lost "my" identity?" Precisely, that's the best to do.
2 The solution... will NOT come from "outside". It will not come from a shooting with a great model. Because you'll be happy 4 hours, the moment of the shooting you'll feel alive, and then, when the light's off, you'll feel even more dead and depressed than before.
Fred, yet again I find myself wishing your birth language was English. Then, I’m glad it isn’t because then you would not have the mind that you have.
To address two of your points:
1. Identity. How true. Many years ago, my mother made her first attempt to come and live in Spain. She was fluent in the language because she was in school there as a youngster. Yet, one day some weeks after she had sold up and moved out here, I met her in tears. I asked her what on Earth was the matter, and she replied: I feel I have lost my identity. She went back, bought another house and returned to her old life. I can identify with that, no pun intended.
2. Post-shoot blues. That used to happen to me even when I was busy and still running a studio; the lonely, white Colorama roll when the door closed behind the models was the saddest thing in my life at those times. Coming home from a shoot abroad was even worse: it felt like the end of the world. That tight little group was like a commando unit: we’d hit the beaches, do the shots and probably break all manner of local bye-laws in the process, live way beyond our natural economic means and then bang!, the mundane would open its arms again as we landed in Heathrow, Gatwick, Glasgow, Palma or wherever. You can’t lose the craving for the sense of excitement, the addiction, just because circumstances change.
Some say it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all; I wonder.
;-)
Rob C
